Some Dos and Don’ts of Single Mamahood (as reported in Ms. Kelly’s first book, Single Mamahood, Advice and Wisdom for the African American Single Mother.)

Keep  Anger Towards Your Baby's Daddy Under Wraps

1. Don't argue with the father in front of the children or on the phone with the children nearby; count to ten or write it down for later if you have to
2. Don't badmouth the children's father in front of them, or in front of others who would repeat it to them
3. Do invite the father to the children's important events and activities

Put Your Kids first

1. Assure them you won't try to replace the children's father with a dating partner; wait several months to introduce them to any serious dating partners.  First introduce your guy to adult family members.  Get their opinions about the guy and get to know his family before letting him meet your kids.  
2. Let your kids keep pictures and mementoes from their relationship with their father; don't make them choose between you and their dad
3. Assure them that the divorce and any visitation problems afterwards are not their fault, but problems for adults to deal with
4. Don't be afraid to get counseling for you or them if needed
5. Make sure sons especially get exposure to male role models through sports, male relatives, or even other kids' dads

Be A Good Single Mama

1. Don't be ashamed of being a single mother; realize you are a strong person, and a powerful figure in your child's life; you can still guide them and set them on the right path
2. Build a support network with other single parents and ask for favors, bounce ideas off them, do favors for them, and share resources
3. Remember you don't need a man to get along
4. Watch your money, budget your time, and be proactive in your life
5. Stay in touch and on friendly terms with other adults in your children's lives, like school teachers and nurses, and the staff at your doctor's or dentist's office 
6. And for daughters, talk to them about the things you wished your mother had talked to you about, love them, be honest and admit mistakes when they happen, and set the example for them so they know they can be strong women too