Reducing Drama for the Single Mama

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, single moms head more than one-third of American families and two-thirds of African American homes. 

For those of you who are wondering, a single mama is unmarried, divorced, widowed or separated.  Single mamas’ children’s fathers may or may not be involved in their kids’ lives.   While singlemamhood.com does not encourage women to become single mamas (I, personally, after watching one child struggle with being the child of a single mama, chose not to do that to another kid), singlemamahood is a fact of life.  (I would, however, encourage single women who want kids to adopt.  A child is clearly better off with one loving parent than no parents.)  Another fact is that single mamas want to be good mothers.  Further, we matter to our children and society.  We hold the purse strings, make the decisions and have reared some of the strongest human beings in the world.

singlemamahood.com is the #1 place for single mamas to come daily to be supported, appreciated and empowered to become better parents.    Our mission: Reducing Drama for the Single Mama

Despite the positive, we have huge obstacles to overcome.  Statistically, children who are raised by their biological moms and dads who are in stable marriages, make out better when it comes to getting good grades, staying out of trouble and becoming contributing citizens.  I do not and would not advocate becoming a single mom by choice, unless you are becoming that single mom by adopting a child.  Still the fact is that many women, myself included, make choices that leave us in the reality of being a single mom.  Others are widows who never imagined they’d become single mamas.  And, of course, there are mamas out there much braver than I who chose to give birth to children alone.  Despite how you or I feel about our individual single mamahood situations, we must deal with it and become the best moms possible.  

Through singlemamahood.com, you’ll have access to resources, experts, stories and tips that will make you the great mom you want to be.  A regular feature of the site is Free Advice/Ask Ms. Kelly.  This is where I will personally answer your questions. 

You can also participate in the singlemamahood.com Bulletin Board.  It's a way we can all learn from one another.  A mama once said it is easier to learn from others than to have to make all the mistakes yourself.  singlemamahood.com will help us learn as much as we can from other mamas.  Another regular feature is the singlemamahood.com poll.   This is where we’ll learn how single mamas live their lives and how we feel and think about events and issues that matter to us.  

If your church or organization wants to host a Ms. Kelly motivational talk or workshop, you can request booking information through singlemamahood.com. 

Anyone who has been present at any of my speaking engagements will tell you how open, honest, personal I am.  You’ll laugh, cry, relate and walk away more empowered to be a better mother.   Regularly, singlemamahood.com will hit the road, hosting sponsored singlemamahood brunches and wine and cheese parties.  These networking opportunities will allow you a chance to meet employers, other single mamas and even some single dads.  Where possible, we’ll even offer childcare.

So, put your kids to bed (see singlemamahood.com, the newsletter, to learn how to get them on a regular nap and bed time schedule), grab a glass of wine (or no-sugar added grape juice if you don’t do alcohol), and come on over to my place.

Kelly Williams Founder, singlemamahood.com,

Mother of one, -- Winston, a graduate of Morehouse College and Philadelphia Teaching Fellow.

Wine Kid,  by T. Winston Shaw,

November 2007 

It takes a village to raise a child…

In hopes that child may one day raise his village,

Escape the pain and pillage and shape his people’s existence,

Change the landscape with direction and assistance,

A child is a grape and the village the vineyard,

Wine you must create though the estate is often hindered,

History waits for you to raise the next King,

Martin Malcolm or Marcus into this world you may bring,

So our mothers are the vines and to them we cling,

With our ears to their hearts – they lift their souls and sing,

Til’ earth and heaven ring we soar on their wings,

Without them to nurse our anger and our violent screams,

Grapes wrinkle into raisins like dying dreams,

Without a man to teach us love – it is easy to hate,

The father who thought his only job was to procreate,

So steer us to be strong as men and stand straight,

Teach us not to settle for anything less than great…

Show us the cycle we should break and who to appreciate,

Ignite our flames and direct our aims,

Teach us to accept blame but never remain in shame,

That love and lust are far from one in the same,

To respect our women for from women we came,

Teach us responsibility – identity and pride,

To look for traits of our mothers when we chose our bride,

Besides all of this, never push us aside…

And remember you are the rock and in you we confide,

You held us as babies and in your arms we cried,

For we knew even then- with the world we would collide,

We know you’re not perfect and promise to understand,

That you’re a wounded black queen doing the best you can,

If at times it’s too tough to turn water into wine,

Remember that the daughters of God are divine.

Take pride in the task to which you’ve been assigned.

Single mother - keep the faith, and in time you’ll find

You can produce a “wine kid” – just like mine did.