|
Just Her Baby’s Daddy?
Do not ever give your baby’s mama an excuse to say you’re just her baby’s daddy. You say that’s hard – that it’s just impossible to be around that woman who’s always badmouthing you and straight out tripping? Well, let’s try looking at it from an entirely different perspective – the perspective of your child.
To do that, let’s think back to a time when you didn’t even know your baby’s mama. Think back to when you were a child. And remember, your children think now the same way you did then.
What do they think? Well for starters, they love you more than you’ll ever know – probably the same way you loved your daddy, whether you’d admit it then or not. More than that, just as you had hope that your daddy would spend time with you, pay attention to you, say good things about you, be proud of you and love your more than anything in the world, your children feel that way about you. When your child sees you, he may frown, or storm off or even lash out against you. That’s a coping mechanism – a way to handle his heartache just in case you reject him, yet again. What your kids need is for you to be the adult you are, for you to keep trying until your babies are convinced that you’re serious. They want you to prove your love – not because they’re unappreciative brats, but because they are afraid. They’re afraid you won’t keep your word or that when you do pick then up, you’ll ignore them or interrogate them about their mama’s comings and goings or drop them off at your mom’s, or worse – that you’ll have one of your girlfriends around and spend more time snuggling up to her then giving them the time of day. Daddy, you have to earn your kids’ trust. You don’t have to earn their love. Trust us, they love you already. Give your babies the key to your heart. Do not let anything get in the way, not even their mama, no matter how you might feel about her right now, or how she feels about you. Prove her wrong and watch her soften up. All she’s doing is protecting her babies. That’s what good mamas do. Tips for the Baby’s Daddy 1. Pay your child support
2. Visit your children and be on time
3. Tell your kids regularly that you love them
4. Do not bad mouth their mama
5. Force yourself to have a relationship with your kids, even when they are being ornery
6. Don’t introduce your honey to the kids right away – the kids aren’t ready and your honey isn’t either
7. Explain to your lady friend that your kids come first; if she says or shows that this is a problem, she is immature and a child, herself. But the good news is, you are not her daddy. You deserve to think seriously about whether she’s helping or hurting your situation, and you have the right to act accordingly.
8. If your honey’s hurting, rather than supporting your situation, tell her bye-bye; there are a whole lot of other mermaids – and believe us, more good loving, in the sea she came from
9. Pay your child support (or did we say that, already?)
10. If you’re broke, admit it, but don’t blame anyone (the kids are only kids, none of this is their fault)…buy hotdogs and take the kids to the library. Toss the football with them and make picnics with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, whole fresh fruit, store-brand drinks and chips. Pop popcorn at home and watch rented movies. These moments will be priceless, even if the kids do complain. They’ll start bragging as soon as they get back home.
|
