As a singlemamahood.com guest, you have the opportunity to ask Ms Kelly a question and get her straight answer, in a timely fashion.  Here’s your chance.  Ask away at .  Please note, Ms Kelly will always protect your confidentiality.  However, to help other single parents, from time to time, she will use excerpts from the advice she offers  you in her newsletters, presentations, articles, etc.  She will never use your name and may change cities, children's ages, and other identifying factors to protect your privacy.

What’s Ms Kelly’s position on parenting?

Here’s an example from a live chat several years ago, just after the publishing of Kelly Williams’ book, Single Mamahood, Advice and Wisdom for the African American Single Mother.   They are typical of the questions Ms Kelly hears from single mamas who attend her workshops, seminars and motivational talks.

NetNoir presents NetNoirLive with Kelly Williams, author of the book "Single Mamahood" discusses health issues concerning motherhood, children, parenthood, and kids.

OrCCCa: Welcome to NetNoirLive! Where fascinating and interesting celebrities come to chat! NetNoirLive! is a joint production of NetNoir.com (tm) and Talk City (tm) Thanks for joining us today.

NetNoir and Talk City are pleased to welcome you this evening to chat with Kelly Williams. Kelly Williams is here to discuss her book "Single Mamahood". She will discuss how single Mom can raise children who are self-assured, happy, and healthy. Without further ado let's welcome to our guest tonight Kelly Williams.

Fcarl Says: Why did you write Single Mamahood?

Kelly Williams: I wrote "Single Mamahood" because I knew there were a lot of people, like myself, who could use the information. And my feeling is that it is better to let people learn from the mistakes of others, than to make those mistakes themselves. The book is pretty much How To. I don't pretend to know all the answers, but I do share my experiences with other moms and people who helped me along the way. And the entire book is about focusing on the children. And the hope is that single moms will find a way to work out difficulties with the baby's daddy, in order for the child not to be caught in the middle.

Avoritemama Says: Should women choose to become single moms?

Kelly Williams: NO! I don't think so. I think kids deserve to be in homes where the parents are married and where mom and dad love each other. In situations where that is not the case, we single moms need to just work on being the best mothers we can be while still allowing, if possible, the children to know their father.

Ero-73 Says: My daughter does not like school, and only makes C's and D's. Do you have any suggestions that might help her to take more responsibility for her grades? She is 12. Thanks.

Kelly lliams: 12 is a difficult age. Kids' bodies are changing, and that's typically when you start seeing any pent-up anger they might have. That might result from them being children of a single parent. Right now she may be beginning to look like a woman, but she is still a little girl. And she needs real closeness right now with everyone who loves her, especially her mother. She needs her mother's physical affection more than ever, and encouragement for the things she does right. As hard as it is right now, try not to criticize every little bad thing. Build her up whenever you can. It is showing in her grades right now that she is having some growing pains. But the extra love will make a HUGE difference. Also, see if she will get involved with sports because she needs a self-esteem booster. If she doesn't get it from her mom or through sports, she will look for it from boys and men in unhealthy ways.

Adahead Says: What should a single mom do if her boyfriend doesn't think it's a good idea for her kids to be involved with their father?

Kelly Williams: The boyfriend has the problem. He is insecure. The kids will ALWAYS have their father. The boyfriend may or may not be around for you, let alone them. You know what's right in this situation; follow your heart.

Rlcay Says: What advice do you have for dads of children who live in single-mama headed households?

Kelly Williams: Be there! Call your kids whenever possible. See them whenever they need you. Pay your child support. Do what you would have wanted your dad to do.

Owde Says: Can single fathers learn from your book?

Kelly Williams: What most single fathers tell me is that they learn through the book how much their kids need them, regardless of whether mom has a boyfriend, or even a new husband at some point.

Uest-WendyOne Says: My daughter is nearly 13 and still afraid to be alone in her room. What can I do? I have tried everything.

Kelly Williams: Did your daughter sleep with you when she was a baby? Let your daughter have sleepovers, where she invites a friend to spend the night. That will encourage independence.

Uest-campbellcruisade Says: Hi Kelly, what else besides being a single mother (if you are) inspired you to write this book?

Kelly Williams: The biggest inspiration was that I am a single mother, and I have always wanted information to help me. I found that other single mothers had the same problem, especially black single moms. All the books are written by white people, yet all the stereotypes are about black mamas. So I saw the need.

321Ratio Says: How does a single mother turn into a married mother? 

Kelly Williams: First she has to stop focusing on looking for a man. The men who are attracted to needy women are not the kind of men that single moms need. It is hard enough just being a mother. When you spend a lot of your parenting time manhunting, you are hurting your kids by depriving them of your time. Strong men are attracted to strong, independent women who are good mothers. Be a good mother and if a good man is what you want, a good man is what you will eventually attract, not find, because you won't be looking.

Fcarl Says: What should a single mom tell her kids if the father is a no-show?

Kelly Williams: Tell the kids it's not their fault. And even when the kids are mad, don't be in their amen corner, saying bad things about their dad because when they forgive dad, they won't forget that you put him down. When kids feel that their dads are bad people, they feel that they themselves are bad kids. So be honest about the fact that the behavior is not what you would like. But explain that even the best people behave badly when they are under stress or not well, mentally or physically. That could mean they are having job problems, addiction problems, or just some irresponsibility issues. But don't let them think that their dad is all bad. Otherwise they will think that they are all bad, and you're bad for having slept with him.
Avoritemama Says: What should a single mom do to make sure she's both a good employee and a good mother?

Kelly Williams: She needs backup. She needs friends who can be on call for her when the kids get sick, or when they need rides to practice or other places during mom's work hours. This is where single moms need a partner. I have always had single moms who look out for my kid, and I look out for their kids - even keeping their kids on my off day if their kids are sick and their mom has to work.

Ellego Says: What do you think is the biggest impact on a child's life from being raised by a single parent?

Kelly Williams: I think that they don't learn appropriate ways of loving the opposite sex. That's why you see cycles of single parenting, generation after generation. If we don't have good models we usually do a poor job ourselves of finding a partner, loving a partner, and staying married to that partner.