Meet Mary Donahue Forney, single mama to an adult daughter, Shani.  Mary has lived to experience personal stories that are a part of African American history.  She has also survived more than her share of single mama drama and other life challenges.  Mary is singlemamahood.com's Black History Month Hero.

As a child, Mary was shuttled back and forth between her home town of Philadelphia, where she, her sister and brother lived part of the year with their single mom, to Chicago -- where they would stay with their aunt -- to the Memphis farm where their maternal grandparents lived.  In April 1968, the kids were in Memphis.  Even though their mother was not there with them, Mary and her siblings felt more comfortable on the farm than at any other place they stayed.  It felt the way home should. 

Mary’s grandfather was a farmer.  He was also very involved in the civil rights movement.   She recalls many times tagging along with him to provide food for the hungry, hand out literature or attend organizing meetings.  There is one meeting in particular that left an indelible mark on her mind and heart and in many ways shaped who Mary is today.

In April 1968, at age 13, her grandfather took her to Mason Temple church.  They would hear Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. encourage the community to support Negro sanitation workers who wanted to be paid and treated the same way their white co-workers were. 

“I remember there were so many men there – more men than I’d ever seen in any one place.  Some were wearing signs around their necks that said, 'I am a man.'  And I actually heard Rev. King speak.  It's something I think about every year around this time," Mary said. 

The next day, the family was at home on the farm relaxing, listening to music on the radio.  Then the program was interrupted and Mary heard something awful and unbelievable.  The announcer said Rev. King had been shot and killed right there in Memphis.  It was a moment that shook her to the core and in many ways gave her courage that she would need years later. 

When she was 18, Mary moved back to Philadelphia to be with her mom.  Very soon after, she fell in love and married.  A decade after enduring trouble and abuse in the marriage, the loss of her job due to a lay-off, and a continued distant and difficult relationship with her mother, Mary wanted to start fresh and give her life another chance.  She moved with her husband and young daughter to San Diego. 

Three years later, it seemed things were worse instead of better.   Mary said she finally gained the strength to leave her marriage. She worked a number of jobs, started a food service business and raised her daughter, Shani, to become an independent free spirit.  Of course there were challenges, but none that defeated Mary.  Soon Shani would move to New York to explore a career in entertainment marketing. 

In 2003, Mary received heartbreaking news.  She learned that her mother had cancer and not much longer to live.  Mary moved her mom to her home in California.  It was an opportunity to hear her mother’s side of the story of why she and her siblings were so often not with her. 

Within weeks, after her mother died, Mary was relieved that she had made amends with her and resolved the issues and pain that kept them estranged for so many years. 

Then in 2006, Mary was confronted with news that forced her to reach for another dose of courage.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She underwent lumpectomy surgery, the removal of lymph nodes and a year of radiation and chemotherapy treatments.  Throughout it all, she remained physically and mentally strong.  She kept up her almost daily walks, strengthened friendships with her girlfriends, enjoyed an occasional glass of chardonnay and lots of laughs; and she grew even closer to her daughter. 

After a year away from her job at the San Diego Convention Center, Mary returned to work.  She has rekindled her relationship with her long-term boyfriend.  And she counts her blessings daily.  Mary's nearly 33-year-old daughter is living single and enjoying it.  And almost four years after being diagnosed, Mary is cancer free and healthy.  Above all, she’s happy.  She is a true survivor -- a super single mama.

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