More than 71 percent of African-American women are unmarried when they give birth.
Celebrating Mothers Everywhere
It’s almost Mother’s Day, when husbands lavish the women who gave them children with jewelry, chocolates and flowers, symbols of love and gratitude for all they do. And they also make sure their little ones do something to make Mommy feel special and appreciated.
But what does Mother’s Day mean for a mom who has no husband or significant other? How about the single mother, for whom parenthood is weighted with the burden of a wounded heart and shattered dreams? For her, the joy of having children comes with missing child support payments, going alone to parent-teacher conferences, dance recitals and football games; broken promises and that most dreaded and difficult inevitable question – “Where’s my daddy?” Mother’s Day, with its greeting cards, roses and storybook family images, can seem to make a mockery of the everyday drama of a single mama.
According to the latest
National Center for Health Statistics, nearly 40 percent of mothers in the U.S. have no husbands when they give birth. More than 71 percent of African-American women are unmarried when they give birth. Sure, among these single moms, there are those who are acknowledged on Mother’s Day by their babies’ daddies or boyfriends and honored by their friends and families. But for many single moms, the holiday is nothing more than a taunting reminder that while motherhood is an amazing blessing, going it alone “ain’t been no crystal stair.”
That is why many single mothers are redefining Mother’s Day and changing their expectations so that May holiday is one that is uniquely their day, too.
Here are eight ideas for celebrating your single Mother’s Day:
• Give your kids a countdown to Mother’s Day so they won’t forget it’s coming up. Tell them you need them to do something special for you that day – that they should be on their best behavior – and that you’d like a note (or a picture from the little ones) expressing why they love you.
• Start a single Mother’s Day ritual - a potluck for your family and other single moms and their kids. Before mealtime, form a Mother’s Day circle and ask each child to say one good thing about their mom.
• Get a babysitter for a couple of hours just to do something you never get to do, like taking a walk or reading a book.
• Plan something carefree and memorable for you and your kids – a picnic lunch, for example. Let the kids make the sandwiches and have them pick flowers to make you a wild flower Single Mother’s Day bouquet.
• Have someone watch the kids for the whole weekend so you can get away from it all. Take a drive or find a cheap flight to someplace new, different and exotic.
• Don’t forget the single moms in your life. Show them some love with a phone call or small gift. There are special greeting cards, like those created by comedienne and "Tom Joyner Mroning Show" alum Myra J and of course, Hallmark, made especially for single mothers.
• Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone. Go for a walk with your kids or go take a jog. Set a personal fitness goal that you’ll accomplish by next Mother’s Day.
• Print this poem written as a gift to single mothers - and be sure to post it on your own refrigerator.
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WINE KID
By T. Winston Shaw, 2007
It takes a village to raise a child
In hopes that child may one day raise his village
Escape the pain and pillage and shape his people’s .....
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